It was written in April of 2003 originally, as was titled "Reflections: Petals 1.2: Surrender." The current was assigned to it when "Reflections" was changed to Fortress Rock Poetry. It was written around or immediately after "Mere Pittance" and around or shortly before "Powerful Comfort."
The poem deals with divine knowledge, human conscience, and the nature of trying to fight wrongdoing.
Formerly “Reflections: Petals 1.2: Surrender” by Mike Hayes, written April of 2003.
A truth it is that the Lord our God knows all things—no matter what the time, the place, or my denial. He knows my thoughts—secret, dark, and destructive. He knows my faith—weak, doubting, and rarely fresh (because of what I fail to do; read His word and spend time in prayer.)
He knows my actions—selfish, devoid of love for God, or anyone else for that matter. He knows my strengths—my mind, my quest for apologetics, and my belief in His promise to save me from all my sin. He knows my weaknesses—my devious heart, my poor prayer life and my undisciplined and often heartless study of His Word.
My former ethics class teacher taught the class that faith isn't easy. It was simple to me: I am saved by faith through grace alone. I used to rest on the grace of Christ and let my actions live in the pleasurable things of my own way. I must say, that of that fact, I am not proud; because I never lived the faith I espoused. For that I was condemned, for I have shamed the name of Christ. I lived in myself and not Him.
A wise pastor once taught me that growth and discipline come one step at a time. At that time I had not been reading the Word of God. You see, two things were the case at the time. First, I had not read books much since my childhood and rarely read the Word of God. Second, when I decided that I was going to be more disciplined I was trying to do too much. (I was trying to read a chapter a day). He pointed out to me that I should set my goal at a level that can be achieved. (Needless to say, if I still left the Word of God aside, barely read) I could not do it of my own will.
I could not do it. I could not read the Word of God, pray or spend time in ministry. The words of Psalm 139:1-4 revealed the passionate truth that I need to realize in order for any change to occur. The truth is simple: He knows me entirely. As the passage makes clear, not one thing is hidden from Him. I was trying to do it by myself--He knew this. The Bible says that the things born of the flesh are fleshly (John 3:6); there is no redeeming quality in them...
I had to give up the idea of trying to do it by my own strength. I had to give up control, to surrender. While the things I have said above are true; the Lord has begun to transform my mind and actions away from them. I still have a long way to go; but by His stripes I am healed. One last point... If you are at the point where you want to do what is right for your own will...surrender.
© 2003 Tri-Sola Poetry. Reprinted with permission. Edited for syndication.
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