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Just for Fun: Marriage Theory According to CATS

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Just for Fun: Marriage Theory According to CATS

Original title Sociology 225 According to CATS
Author David Stiefel
Subject Humor
Publisher Dozerfleet Literature
Publication date November 15, 2007
Project Serial No. DZ-2007-022-LT029
QR Code MarriageAccordingToCATS-QR

The following is a compilation rewordings of the All Your Base are Belong to Us Internet meme based on the character CATS from the game Zero-Wing, as shown below. Some variations at the end are from the parody All Your Snakes are Belong to Us. These rewordings are designed to jokingly use the phrases from the video to summarize marriage and family studies in sociology in Zero-Wingrish. This article was inspired by a section of Sociology 225: Marriage and Family Studies, as conducted in the fall of 2007 at Ferris State University.

Marriage and Family Theory Studies
According to CATS of Zero-Wing

homogamy: "All our base should to be like us."

heterogamy: "All your base did not begin with us."

conflict/feminist theory:

  1. "All your base will win or lose to us."
  2. "All your base can never take us alive."
  3. "In the year of wedding number one, war was beginning..."

exchange theory: "All your base are fair to trade with us."

interracial marriage: "All your base are more light or dark than us."

interreligious marriage: "All your faith are not belong to us."

children of interreligious marriages: "You are on your way to confusion."

gay civil unions: "How are you gentlemen???"

agape love: "All your base are give its life for us."

eros: "Main screen turned on."

manic-possessive: "All your base are belong only to me!!!"

divorce: "All your base are no longer belong to us."

engagement: "All your base will soon belong to us."


  1. "We get signal."
  2. "In the year of affection number one, love was beginning."

spousal rape: "You have no wish to consent; make your time."

polygamy: "All your base...and Polly's base...and Sally's base...and Janet's base...and Erica's base...are belong to all of us."

shacking up: "All your base are kinda sorta belong to us."

legal age of consent: "All your base are too young for us."

being left at the altar: "What not happen?"

commitment: "All your base are will always belong to us."

adultery: "All your base are belong to us; but all their base are for rent to us."

separation: "All your base are technically still belong to us, but not for long."

the silent treatment: "What not you say???"

breaking up: "All your base are almost belonged to us."

courtship (Victorian): "Somebody set up us the meeting."

dating (in general): "We set up us the meeting."

dating (classic): "All your base are could belong to us."

dating (modern): "All your base are could belong to us for hopefully more than one night."

hooking up: "All your clothes are not on near us."

child custody disputes: "Take on every kid! For great justice!!!"

child support payments: "You have no chance to escape. Pay your fine."

encouraging nutrition (All your Snakes): "Please don't be alarmed. Remain eat beets."

domestic violence (All your Snakes): "Make barrier between us and flakes!"

holistics: "All your base are belong to us as part of the bigger picture."

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